Monday, July 21, 2014

What is more important- Love or Happiness?


And this time, I had this discussion with this guy who has seen “too much” in his life and considers that life has treated him inimitably. He is right. Whatever has happened to him is unique yet it happens to all of us. 

For all of us, our struggle is exceptional. We customize it as per our privacy settings.

He has been through a rough patch as well involving his continued quest for “looking for true love”, “for a settled life”, “searching for a soul mate”, “life full of happiness” and “everything perfect” in his life, and everything working out exactly as he had imagined it to be.

This guy, a very simple guy, I must say, has recently boarded the roller coaster by taking the “biggest decision in his life”. The initial twists and turns have churned his jelly heart and he is desperately looking for an escape route.

Having lead an unsmooth married life of compromises and misunderstandings, screeching silence and uncut sections behind and in front of the curtain, he finally felt “inspired’ enough to change everything that held him back. His “no” suddenly became stronger than “alright” that he had been shielding behind for a decade.

He realized, Love was that supreme sentiment that he had craved to live for. He has taken this biggest decision of his life to “get true Love”. He never denied not loving his wife or his wife loving him back any less. And this, as he goes, was the root cause-this discontentment in Love.  

Love-less-ness was the reason. They fairly loved each other but not madly. He had these gaps which he desired to be filled with a passion that drives a man’s life and has kept him emotionally restless since. She was dissatisfied too. 

Now, they live separately. Yet un-loved and un-happy. And now, searching for “happiness” in loneliness.

While he was already down with 3 beers, munching chips overlooking the harbor, I thought that was the ‘best time’ to evoke the profound thought.

“What do you think is more important in life ultimately- Love or Happiness”? I shot.

A sudden complete silence. A long pause. A staggering expression. His truth was a few sips away, yet had been so far.  

A small burp and his eyes turned dreamy. Probably objective questions are more subjective sometimes. The pause becomes longer than expected.

With a nod confirming his affirmation inside his calculatory head- he replied in a calm manner "..Happiness”.










2 comments:

  1. The purpose of life is to enjoy. (anandamayo ‘bhyasat) - Srila Prabhupada

    1. Love Is The Law Of Life: All love is expansion, all selfishness is contraction. Love is therefore the only law of life. He who loves lives, he who is selfish is dying. Therefore, love for love's sake, because it is law of life, just as you breathe to live.
    2. It's Your Outlook That Matters: It is our own mental attitude, which makes the world what it is for us. Our thoughts make things beautiful, our thoughts make things ugly. The whole world is in our own minds. Learn to see things in the proper light.
    3. Life is Beautiful: First, believe in this world - that there is meaning behind everything. Everything in the world is good, is holy and beautiful. If you see something evil, think that you do not understand it in the right light. Throw the burden on yourselves!
    4. It's The Way You Feel: Feel like Christ and you will be a Christ; feel like Buddha and you will be a Buddha. It is feeling that is the life, the strength, the vitality, without which no amount of intellectual activity can reach God.
    5. Set Yourself Free: The moment I have realised God sitting in the temple of every human body, the moment I stand in reverence before every human being and see God in him - that moment I am free from bondage, everything that binds vanishes, and I am free.
    6. Don't Play The Blame Game: Condemn none: if you can stretch out a helping hand, do so. If you cannot, fold your hands, bless your brothers, and let them go their own way.
    7. Help Others: If money helps a man to do good to others, it is of some value; but if not, it is simply a mass of evil, and the sooner it is got rid of, the better.
    8. Uphold Your Ideals: Our duty is to encourage every one in his struggle to live up to his own highest idea, and strive at the same time to make the ideal as near as possible to the Truth.
    9. Listen To Your Soul: You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.
    10. Be Yourself: The greatest religion is to be true to your own nature. Have faith in yourselves!
    11. Nothing Is Impossible: Never think there is anything impossible for the soul. It is the greatest heresy to think so. If there is sin, this is the only sin - to say that you are weak, or others are weak.
    12. You Have The Power: All the powers in the universe are already ours. It is we who have put our hands before our eyes and cry that it is dark.
    13. Learn Everyday: The goal of mankind is knowledge... now this knowledge is inherent in man. No knowledge comes from outside: it is all inside. What we say a man 'knows', should, in strict psychological language, be what he 'discovers' or 'unveils'; what man 'learns' is really what he discovers by taking the cover off his own soul, which is a mine of infinite knowledge.
    14. Be Truthful: Everything can be sacrificed for truth, but truth cannot be sacrificed for anything.
    15. Think Different: All differences in this world are of degree, and not of kind, because oneness is the secret of everything.
    - Swami Vivekananda

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  2. The Conversation of Yajnavalkya and Maitreyi on the Absolute Self

    Sa hovācamaitreyī,yan nu ma iyam, bhagoḥ, sarvāpṛthivīvittenapūrṇāsyāt, kathaṁtenāmṛtāsyāmiti: "If I am the owner of the entire earth, the wealth of the whole world is mine, will I be perpetually happy, or will there be some other factor which will intrude upon my happiness in spite of my possession of the values of the entire world?" This is the question.
    Na, itihovācayajñavalkyaḥ: "No," replies Yājñavalkya. "You cannot be happy. You will be very comfortable, as is the case with people who own a lot of wealth, but you would be in the same state in other respects, as is the condition of well-placed people in society. Immortality is not possible through possessions. It is a different status altogether, which has no connection with any kind of relativistic association." Amṛitatvasyatunāśāstivitteneti: "There is no hope of immortality through wealth."

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