God's Reply

And this is the time to write a blog...

During my hostel days, I met this most amazing girl- Jassi. She is beautiful, sweet, cute, humorous, very grounded to earth, pleasant, nice, good person at heart and extremely original. You know people who have good vibes. On my first day in hostel, sitting amongst the snobby girls, she was the only one who spoke to an introvert like me who was silently sitting at the corner eating shit hostel food.

It has been around 10 years. I left the hostel, then India but on on-and-off mode, we were in touch. Rather she kept in touch with all the hostel girls. Even shittier ones (like me).

And it wasn't just me who liked Jassi. Everyone liked Jassi (truly, Jassi jaisi koi nahi). Her Facebook posts will have thousands of likes (I don't even have 20 real friends) and it was clear- she was a dear one.

He childhood photos on FB showed that she was born in a rich family. The family had servants, big house, and expensive cars in the background. While we all girls were busy saving money to make our ends meet in a city like Mumbai, she spent all her salary. She didn't have to save! What a blessing. She lived a life anyone would envy, but actually she was so sweet that none could envy her. That was the most beautiful thing about her.

In 2013 I went to Mumbai and met her. And she told me that she was seeing someone. My first thought was- the guy is too lucky. She got married to him a year later. Trust me, it was true love. I could see that. They looked like made for each other. Then she got an opportunity to work in UK and she told me that it was her husband who encouraged her to join. In my heart, I said, I knew you had got a great partner, you deserved that. 

Nothing can be more perfect than her life. I can bet.

A few months ago I noticed that her Facebook account was deactivated. I tried reaching her on Whatsapp but that wasn't working too. So I reached out to her on LinkedIn and she gave me her new UK number. I got busy and forgot to text her.

Last evening, sitting in the library, I felt depressed about my life, and for some reason, just thought of her as to how some people are living a life of my dreams- professional and personal life balanced with a loving partner.

So I added the number and texted on her new Whatsapp "Hey Jassi, where have you been". She replied, “Pooja, probably you didn't know. I lost my husband in December. 3 days before our 2^nd anniversary”.

Sitting in the library, with books on globalization and rising economies on my table, I got tears in my eyes. I was shaken deep inside. She said, “How can God be so cruel. I know shitty people living a lovely life. How can this happen to me, Pooja. I still can’t believe that this has happened to me”.

I definitely know God has plans but I thought shit plans were for me only. She definitely didn't deserve this. 

I am blank. I don't know. 

Don’t know if my question of “why me” is answered in this way. I didn’t want this answer. If this is the answer, I don’t want to ask any questions ever.
I don't know if I should ask any questions. God's level of sarcasm is beyond my understanding. 

Is the answer to "why me" is "everyone else is too"? Please, I don't don't want to hear that. 
This is not my answer.

P.S. OK God, if not me, please reply Jassi.