I'll meet you again (In Punjabi language)

A poem by Amrita Pritam in Punjabi 

Dear Readers
Sincere apologies for two reasons- 
1.The translation is not exact
2. The Punjabi that I have tried to write is not exactly writable, though I tried it hard and used all the language tools available on the web. 

But, as I sincerely believe that the true pleasure of literature lies in reading it in the un-edited and non-translated versions, here it is. 
While reading the English version, you'd have guessed what a master piece in Punjabi this Poetess has engraved. 
Enjoy!

ਮੈਂ ਤੈਨੂ ਫਿਰ ਮਿਲਾਂਗੀ ਕਿਥੇ? ਕਿਸ ਤਰ੍ਹਾ? ਪਤਾ ਨਹੀ ਸ਼ਾਯਦ  ਤੇਰੇ  ਤਖਾਯੁਲ ਦੀ ਚਿਨਾਗ  ਬਣ  ਕੇ ਤੇਰੇ  ਕੈਨਵਸ  ਤੇ  ਉਤਰਾਂਗੀ ਯਾ  ਖੋਵ੍ਦੇ ਤੇਰੇ  ਕੈਨਵਸ  ਦੇ  ਉੱਤੇ ਇਕ ਰਹਾਸ੍ਮਾਯੀ  ਲਕੀਰ  ਬਣ  ਕੇ  ਖਾਮੋਸ਼  ਤੇਨੁ  ਤਕਦੀ ਰਵਾਨਗੀ	I will meet you yet again How and where? i know not. Perhaps i will become a Figment of your imagination And maybe, spreading myself In a mysterious line On your canvas, I will keep gazing at you.
ਯਾ  ਖੋਵ੍ਦੇ  ਸੂਰਜ  ਦੀ  ਲੂ  ਬਣਕੇ ਤੇਰੇ  ਰੰਗਾਂ  ਵਿਚ  ਘੁਲਾਂਗੀ  ਯਾ ਰੰਗਾਂ  ਦਿਯਾਂ  ਬਾਹਵਾਂ  ਵਿਚ  ਬੈਠ ਕੇ ਤੇਰੇ  ਕੈਨਵਸ  ਨੂ  ਵਾਲਾਂਗੀ ਪਤਾ  ਨਹੀ  ਕਿਸ  ਤਰ੍ਹਾ? ਕਿਥੇ? ਪਰ ਤੇਨੁ  ਜ਼ਰੂਰ  ਮਿਲਾਂਗੀ	Perhaps i will become a ray of sunshine, to be Embraced by your colours. I will paint myself on your canvas I now not how and where ' But i will meet you for sure.
ਯਾ  ਖੋਵ੍ਦੇ  ਇਕ  ਚਸ਼ਮਾ  ਬਣੀ ਹੋਵਾਂਗੀ ਤੇ  ਜੀਵਨ  ਝਾਰ੍ਨੇਯਾਂ ਦਾ  ਪਾਣੀ ਉੱਡਦਾ ਮੈਂ  ਪਾਣੀ  ਦਿਯਾਂ  ਬੂੰਦਾਂ ਤੇਰੇ  ਪੀੰਦੇ  ਤੇ  ਮਲਾਂਗੀ ਤੇ  ਇਕ  ਠੰਡਕ  ਜਹਿ  ਬਣ  ਕੇ ਤੇਰੀ  ਛਾਤੀ  ਦੇ  ਨਾਲ  ਲਾਗਾਂਗੀ ਮੈਂ  ਹੋਰ  ਕੁਛ  ਨਹੀ   ਜਾਣਦੀ ਪਰ  ਇੰਨਾ ਜਾਣਦੀ ਕੇ  ਵਕ਼ਤ  ਜੋ  ਵੀ  ਕਰੇਗਾ ਏ ਜਨਮ ਮੇਰੇ ਨਾਲ  ਤੁਰੇਗਾ	Maybe i will turn into a spring, And rub the foaming Drops of water on your body, And rest my coolness on Your burning chest. I know nothing else But that this life Will walk along with me.
ਏ  ਜਿਸਮ  ਮੁਕਦਾ  ਹੈ ਤੇ  ਸਬ  ਕੁਛ  ਮੁਕ  ਜਾਂਦਾ ਪਰ  ਚੇਤੇਯਾਂ  ਦੇ  ਧਾਗੇ ਕੈਨਾਤੀ  ਕਣਾਂ ਦੇ  ਹੁੰਦੇ ਮੈਂ  ਓਹਨਾਂ  ਕਣਾਂ  ਨੂ  ਚੁਨਾੰਗੀ ਧਾਗੇਯਾਂ  ਨੂ  ਵਾਲਾਂਗੀ ਤੇ  ਤੇਨੁ  ਮੈਂ  ਫੇਰ  ਮਿਲਾਂਗੀ …	When the body perishes, All perishes; But the threads of memory Are woven with enduring specks. I will pick these particles, Weave the threads, And i will meet you yet again..

Simplicity ~ Yannis Ritsos

A poem by Yannis Ritsos (born 1 May, 1909; died 11 November, 1990):

I hide behind simple things so you’ll find me;

if you don’t find me, you’ll find the things,
you’ll touch what my hand has touched,
our hand-prints will merge.

The August moon glitters in the kitchen
like a tin-plated pot (it gets that way because of what I’m saying to you),
it lights up the empty house and the house’s kneeling silence—
always the silence remains kneeling.

Every word is a doorway
to a meeting, one often cancelled,
and that’s when a word is true; when it insists on the meeting.

—translated from the Greek by Edmund Keeley

The Road Not Taken

~Robert Frost 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.

Roman Colosseum as my Life

A violin is played in the background when a documentary on travel is being played showing the Roman Colosseum on TV, while the onlookers munching potato chips look at it in awe.

This is how my life has become.

Earlier, I was one of the walls inside the Colosseum, decaying every moment while others had a good time looking at how wonderfully I was designed, and there stood I, wearing out, fading, cursing myself and all that I couldn't do to change my history (I mean past).

After my Vipassana, though my life remains same, I have just switched the positions.

I have become the onlooker now additionally, excited to see how my masonry reacts to the algae creeping over me, and how a couple holding hands looks at the the sight at night.

Vipassana has taught me to separate myself from me and observe it as a Researcher learning life without living it actually.

I am excited to see what makes me happy and what makes me sad. More so, what used to bring joy, how soon loses its charm and what conceived fear, is wholeheartedly accepted now… and how thoughtlessly I have conceded the whole of my time in just reacting over things....And how contentedly I’d be embellishing my fool’s paradise with the imitated programmed emotions every moment, side-tracking it from the central pleasures of life that it should have been rewarded with actually.

I do not, in any way claim to have acquired super natural powers or opened my third eye. But, yes, I am proud to say that after Vipassana, I am aware of what I am and how better I could make the world around me.

The Dove

Touching the edges of my palms

It drifts away

Slowly..

So slowly

That my passing breathe

Hasn’t even collected back

The shadows it casted ..

The last touch of

Its feathers

Has scratched my wounds

So painfully..

Time flies

like a Dove
Carrying a bad news..

I am the music

I am the music

Humming in the flute..

I am the calmness

Sitting under the shade..

I am the light

Quietly perching on the white flowers..

I am the yellow

Scattered on the road during Autumn..

I am the silence

Playing on your lips.. 

Where else

Could I go... 

7th day at Vipassana

It was the 7^th day of Vipassana. I had spent a week alone and had three days left to go back.

I was scared as well as craving to go back to the world that I had created around me. Probably I was in the middle of attaining my Vipassana and still far ahead from the horizon of touching equanimity that we were being trained for.

The world was full of dogs- dogs chasing, dogs barking, dogs eating bones, dogs fighting for flesh and yet acting like bitches. Probably I was one of them too, I thought.

A world that I had knit with goodness and badness- 2 things that we thought it was all made up of. And we didn’t know towards which side we were marching eventually until we reached the end.

Some promises made were to be fulfilled, and some were yet to be made. I realized how I had broken many in order to fulfill others. What a filthy garbage I was carrying, of guilt, broken memories and failures uselessly. On myself.  Interestingly, I didn’t need that too.  

What was equanimity for me, that we were taught?

To get educated, to get high accolades, get skilled, work, get married, earn well and then have kids?

Why did I design this faulty system wherein a link broken will lead to the collapse of my whole empire?  Why did I never prepare a plan B? Why did I prepare only one yardstick to measure my success, which I kept re-naming as my happiness? Why did all my short terms plans lead to my long term ones?  Why there was no support system created in case I didn’t begin in the first place?

Even if I had one reason to go back to the world that belonged to me, I shouldn't have been scared- no matter if the same reason was going to be the reason of either my decay or glory.

27 Silent Women- Believe it or not!

27 women, staying together, and are asked not to talk for 10 days. Are you kidding me???

Yes, it is a true story. There is no concept of a “silent woman” or ‘old woman” or “ugly woman”. But there, I saw all during my Vipassana Meditation Course. 

Well, I will refrain myself from philosophies but would describe what actually happened there. None is interested in PDAs unless it is old couple or lesbians, likewise none is interested in philosophies unless it entails ‘women’.

You need to know a little background-

1.       Food was served two times a day- 630 am and 11 am. Hard to believe? Yes, am alive here writing this blog. 

2.       You can’t talk to anyone. Noble silence is observed at all the times.

3.       There are no dates written. It is like “Today is day 7”

4.       Getting up at 4 am and going back to bed at 930 pm is the daily schedule

5.       Complete segregation of men and women.

It will be difficult to write about all of the women but I’d have loved to, only if I could speak to them. Language had never been such a barrier. Anyway, to cut the story short, based upon the nature and behavior, I’d be dividing them into several groups:

1.   Groceries: The bell would ring signifying the time for breakfast/ lunch. Even before the Teacher had pat off the wrinkles from his pyjamas to get up, these women would run with their dishes to canteen. They ate like monkeys lost. The last few minutes before the meal time would make them mad and all they ‘imagined’ during the silent meditation class was FOOD.

2. Washerwomen:  Some belonged to this category-“I have collected a pile of clothes to wash, so I’m going to Vipassana”. Oh Man! day and night, in between classes, in between meals, these women would miss no chance to wash clothes. I don’t know how many and whose they were washing. That was even when we were instructed to carry sufficient clothes as there were limited washing facilities.

3.  Hottest women: ‘Hot air is lighter than cool air’ didn’t we study that at school. Yes, so there were these ever-farting, ever-snoring, ever-fuming and ever-huffing women in the hall and with your eyes closed, you could not even trace the ‘culprits’ during meditation hours.

  4. Chatterbox with a closed lid: Poor they. I pity 
if Mom is sent to such course. These women 
were like tigers closed in a steel nest. 
They could walk, eat, look around, but couldn’t roar!

5.  IST Women: Indian Stretchable Time (IST) doesn't apply to Indians alone. It applies universally. Yes, some people can't reach on time ever! The intolerant fellows and the patient instructors would keep waiting for umpteen hours for the group mediation class and these women, would be running late EVERY DAY, for no reason.

Interested to know which group I belonged to, other than Groceries? :P

Is God a Bad Mother...?

A good mother feeds her baby

God throws us open to earn on our own..

A good mother protects her baby from evils and problems

God throws on us, all pains and troubles to make us stronger..

A good mother teaches her baby

God pushes us in cruel world to make our own share of lessons of life..

A good mother nurtures her baby

God lets us go hungry so that we hit our own ground harder..

A good mother pacifies her wailing baby

God lets us wipe our own tears and cultivate our own happiness..

A good mother wins her baby’s trust

God lets us question our faith and believes us when none else does..

10 Days without Lipstick

A 3-months’ old infant is able to distinguish between a male and a female…even if it is a long haired Dad or a bald Mom. He knows whom he’ll refer as Aunty and Uncle. So, there is an inherent recognizable difference between the genders that exists at basic level.

And we all know what makes a woman- the colors, the hair, the laughter, a little drama and yes, Lipsticks :)

Lipsticks, roses, laced satin bras, hair curlers, eyes shadows, high heels, romantic songs, shopping, gossip, face whitening masks, jealousies, kisses, good byes, bitching, long phone calls, silly mistakes, wrongful parking and weight gain worries- is this how a woman is recognized?

What if 27 women are doomed to stay without these for a whooping 10 days and 11 nights?

I am not conducting any hypothetical study here. This is based on a ‘true story’ : )

Yes this catastrophe is what I experienced during my Vipassana course. 

No flirts, no nail paints, no matching jewelry, no teady bears, no texting or waxing, no escalators, no chocolates or ice-creams, no electronics, no pavilion rides, no candy crushes, no low waist jeans, no coochie-coos, no 50% off sales, no name-blame-games, no boy-friend trackings, no vodkas, no useless arguments…….Not even “I-love-you”s.

Ever wondered what would these women have found in absence of all these distractions?

The New Girl

Spreading her light

All around the streets

She bounces

With a glitter of smile 
Stretched on her face

Holding the frills of her frock

She roams around her own city

As a newcomer

Dispersing the perfume of her hair

She attracts the passersby

With her infectious smile

She leaves behind the miseries of Life

Now, she is a Vipasshi... 

In search of ‘I’

(I went in search of ‘I’ during Vipassana and found that…)

I went out

In search of ‘I’

Waited for years

Hunted, explored and investigated

Searched beyond times and ages

And then found

That there was no ‘I’

And that it never existed

Or never will

This 'I' knew 

Neither you, he, she or them

But only itself without any preference

I found

That 'I' was just a subject matter

Of the Universal theory of matter

I found

That 'I' died and is born

Every moment of a second

And before I could think 'I' was born

'I' was dead already

And before I could wail

At the dead me

'I' was already born 

Without leaving a trace behind 

The Nucleus

The grey answer

casting its shadow

In between
A yes and a no
Is so strong..

That discarding

Or ignoring it

Is impossible..

It is an answer

That you have taken years
To nurture
With sleepless nights

It is an answer

That you know

Reflects you

And your side

Of the Question

As the True You

And then one day

you slam the doors of the Destiny
and uncover it

From well preserved layers
Of your inhibitions

And label it

As the nucleus

Of your blame-game

Version of life..

My Deal with Life

I'll work in her circus

She'll earn me livelihood..

She'll give me pains

I'll give her philosophies..

She'll give me an implausible script

I'll fill my hopes in it..

She'll experiment my strength

I may break down but have to return after collecting my own pieces..

She can questions my legitimacy

I can crack jokes, wail, prove myself but come back in place to play again..

She'll keep me surrounded by people

I'll reserve the lonely me for her..

Together we fool around... day & night

Together we win & lose, and live happily ever after..

Struggle

We run

For rest and shades

We wake up

For sleep and stillness

We waive

For achievement and existence

We struggle

For comfort and peace

We cry

For happiness and pleasures

Why has God programmed us to be idiots?

Why do we question

Why do you question

your own answers?

Why do you not know

what you want?

Why are you lost

Within your own Destiny?

Why do you blame

Your destiny and our people?

Why do you not see

The directions where you are wandering?

Why do you seek pleasure

In the most painful poems of mine?

5 Tried and Tested Ways to Heal Depression

1. Hair Cut- 

In Prakash Jha’s first non political movie “Turning 30”, the protagonist surviving a break up is advised to go for a ‘hair cut’. I couldn't disagree with that idea. Well, how stupid it may sound, but hair cut for a woman indeed is a ‘Life Changer’.  Who hasn’t heard the stories of mothers, sisters, friends and wives about “when I had short hair at school, or when my hair touched my butt”. A new hair cut brings out a new you. I just had a hair cut yesterday!! :P

2. Watching Al Jazeera- 

Watching what's happening in the world without getting  judgmental about it is what I have learnt from this TV channel. Big faced Middle Eastern Anchors talking in Non- Western English accent on International topics is what makes me forget my share of problems. Do you think I am insane to suggest this? Try it first!

3. Calling Wilson from Cast Away- 

Wilson is my best friend. He understands me, never retaliates, absorbs all of my anger and agrees with me always. The best thing about him is that I don't have to update him on the background of anything. He knows all- from my childhood to my crushes, my moods to my office politics. I refer to Wilson from Tom Hanks' Caste Away where during his period of survival on an isolated beach, he talks to a football for four years. Wilson is everywhere! Yes, try it out!!

4. Watching babies and doggies' videos on youtube- 

Watching giggling babies and protective dogs together makes me feel there is so much love in the world... how two creatures can share selfless love. Smiling cute babies and faithful dogs, reassures that life is worth living with a right person (even animal).  

5. Grocery shopping- 

Probably the best way (well why I say best is because it is neither a wastage of time nor resources) is go for grocery shopping. I have tried girly shopping as a remedy too, but buying excessively hippie or sexy dresses and blocking them forever in your wardrobe is a waste of space and money. Super market shopping where you can allow yourself to behave like kid, and run over shelves to buy chocolates, puddings or snacks that you always avoid. Treat yourself like your own kid and pamper, and make youself one!