I don’t feel ignominious to say that am dreading that moment.
After Mom boards the flight and I leave the airport, I am
scared to come back to see the home become a house again.
I had been acting smart. I had been planning all escape routes- to see Navpreet,
to go for night hiking/ camping or to just go for a sleepover at some friend’s
place. I didn’t want see the sight of a warm home turning into a cold house.
I have been doing this since ever. To run away from that ‘moment’.
To just avoid and let it pass, to change my way in order to keep off the
sight where you see turning yourself weak. Probably I had been living under the illusions of my 'strength' since.
And then I realized that unless I meet the demons of my fear
of loneliness, I can never fight with them.
So this time, I have planned a bigger event. After
airport, I’ll go straight to home, open the door and meet the monsters awaiting me. And, look into their eyes. I don’t say that I will be strong to fight with them or
win but now, I have decided to confront them.
I want to see myself fighting. I want to see myself
protecting myself, even if I die the next moment. I want to see myself counter this.. even
if I fail.
Here is my promise to myself- I’ll face everything that I
have been avoiding. Each time I see a wall, I’ll not pass through side but
bang my head into it and wait for one thing to crack- the wall or the head.
Parting is such sweet sorrow,,,,~ Shakespeare
ReplyDeleteYou can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
Don’t be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again …. ~Richard Bach.
The Optimist Creed
ReplyDeletePromise yourself…
…To be strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
…To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
…To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
…To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
…To think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best.
…To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
…To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements of the future.
…To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
…To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
…To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
…To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word (boasting), but in great deeds.
…To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.
–Christian D. Larson