Someone sent me an email of “10 Guilts every woman lives
with”. And I replied back- I’ll create my own. So Mr. Sender, here it is-
1. Not making the first move
A woman irrespective of age, nationality and cultural background
is hesitant of making the first move. And she regrets it more than men.
2. Saving the best for the unknown person /moment/event
Waiting for the best time, best moment, best event, best
man, best time to wear the costly gown/ favorite perfume/ sing favourite song/ do foolish things. I have waited (read
wasted) so much life with this pathetic thought process until I realized that
there is only one best time in life- NOW.
3. Over -commitment
In the spur of the overwhelming moment, a woman commits.
And over- commits. More than she should. From work to social life to her
husband/ boyfriend. (I have done this with even God!) And lives under the guilt of not keeping her word
and thinking herself as a bad@ass.
4. Letting jealousy /insecurities affect the
relationships
It is very natural for a woman to behave in the way she
does- jealous/ insecure/ suspecting/ spying. To the extent when we let these emotions penetrate
our relationships deeply and watch them turning sour and we give birth to another guilt in our mind.
5. Waiting for the other person to make-up
Not that we are not forgiving. We just want you to seek!
The trouble is we keep holding the urn of forgiveness in hand, waiting to
shower. We regret not gifting it suo
motu. And keep collecting the guilt. Bonus regret- We feel further guilty
if you forgot to apologize even when we remember already forgiving you!6. Not being vocal about our expectations
We expect everyone to be 3 Cs- Courteous/ Compassionate/ Co-operative, forgetting that the world is full of the other lot of C- Ch***ya. We never get tired of waiting to be asked. We are never fed up of assuming things. We never hit the peak of "lemme find out".
We regret not following the rule of "You get only what you ask for".
Guilt is not a response to anger; it is a response to one’s own actions or lack of action. If it leads to change then it can be useful, since it is then no longer guilt but the beginning of knowledge. Yet all too often, guilt is just another name for impotence, for defensiveness destructive of communication; it becomes a device to protect ignorance and the continuation of things the way they are, the ultimate protection for changelessness.
ReplyDelete~Audre Lorde, Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches
Guilt is the tension we feel to change our past, present or future for someone else's sake.
~ Richard Bach
If you want to transform
Your life radically
Then immediately give up
Your false sense of teeming guilt.
I always say the past is dust. By thinking of it and brooding over it we cannot change the past or free ourselves from guilt. If we have done something wrong, it is past. Let us think of the immediate future and allow it to grow into the immediacy of today.
~Sri Chinmoy