Imagine:
• You are at a bar, and see this beautiful woman sitting on the opposite table. You love the way she is looking at you. You are about to make the first move and a friend suddenly appears from behind and reminds you that last time you did the same the woman said she had a boyfriend and how humiliated you felt. He asks you to be logical and calculate the probability of such a beautiful woman being single. You remain seated in your seat, finish your drink, watch another man approach her and leave the bar.
• You are sitting at your computer contemplating whether you should apply for this awesome job- a job that you’d love. You are about to click ‘submit’ and this friend suddenly appears from behind and reminds you that last time you did the same and the company ignored your email. They didn’t even call you for an interview. If you apply again, it is basically same story. You close the tab.
• You are at a networking event with all the reputed people of your industry. There is a random quiz. The host asks a question about American trade agreements with China. By chance, you just read that news today. You are about to raise your hand and guess who reminds you that last time you did the same, someone else gave a better answer and yours got ignored. Yes, same friend. You remain seated in your seat, check your phone and watch someone else give the same answer and clap.
I am sure by now you know who this friend is.
Yes, it is You.
It is You who judges the present based upon past events. You tells you that past events are a benchmark of how you lead your life. You says that your present lies in what You learnt in past. You tells you to not explore but assess every new opportunity with You’s past experience. You tells you that You knows everything and you should just listen. You asks you not to question and place your unfettered belief in his past.
But you know that the road to the future is not from past, it starts from present.
Don’t listen to You.
Unfriend You.
P.S. Don’t take it personally when people tell you to go and f*ck yourself.
P.P.S. Know what, actually do it.
Netflix understood that the top selling thing in the world is sex. But after critics have proved that it is overrated, they came up with a new idea.
So, how about ‘Lust”
I met this Indian guy who gave me a very apt analogy about the psyche of Indian society. He said, “It is like a spring, the more you suppress it, the higher it will bounce once released”. To me, that is the best way to describe the evolving Indian cinema at the moment.
Content of Lust Stories:
The first best thing about Lust Stories is its characters.
The second best thing is- its deep meaningful characters.
The third best thing is- you see yourself as a character in every story, and more so when the characters start taking off their layers and you get to see them up close.
I think we all are able to see ourselves naked on screen. Because we often fail to see how hollow we are.
You see yourself as the controlling husband, as the lover, as the cheating wife, as the curious teenager, as someone exploring his/her insecurities, as a non-satisfied partner- sexual and non- sexual.
I see myself in every story too.
I saw myself as the confused possessive woman who doesn’t know that she is too attached to something she knows is temporary and futile.
I saw myself in the unsatisfied housewife whose husband wanted a mother of kids instead of a wife.
I saw myself in the sexually unsatisfied newly wed woman, and the impotent husband at the same time.
I saw myself in the remorseful lover who was having an affair with a married woman.
I saw myself as the divorced woman who has made peace with the slut reputation because of her single-hood.
I saw myself in the character that is using people without realising that it is also getting used.
I saw myself as someone who has delayed every personal decision because I am too scared to lose than excited to achieve.
I saw myself as someone very professionally successful and very weak personally.
I saw myself gambling at lost wars.
I saw myself trying to fix everything by imagining that nothing went wrong in the first place.
I saw myself starting a loose thread that I can break as per my will and finding myself entangled in my own coils.
I saw myself at deciding to be strong and gradually forgetting that I had to be strong and then getting offended at being reminded to be strong.
I can write one million more points but I think this is enough to give the idea. But it doesn't have what you might be looking for.
P.S. Go watch Lust Stories not to watch lust, but to see yourself naked.
If there is anything that I can call myself an expert in (after cooking) it is ‘breaking up’. I have broken up more times than I have been in relationship with. I have broken up with people with whom I have not even been in relationship with. I break up with people I don’t even know.
While I am an expert, I believe it is easier said than done.
After realising cooking is really not my forte after even animals refused to eat food cooked by me, here is my guide for a healthy wealthy and wise break up. Cheers. Thank me later.
1. You must eat. You can’t cry empty stomach. (Make sure you don’t eat what you cooked.)
2. Realise that you managed to carry the relationship until today. And that if not a good cook, at least you were a good listener.
3. Download all the dating apps available in App Store. Meet the first guy you match with. On the same evening. Make sure you don’t spend even one evening alone for the next one month. Because obviously, you don’t want to face yourself. (And ask him what is he doing tomorrow).
4. Sleep with the guy you meet on the first date. That way, next morning you will have a bigger guilt to face with than the shit you were trying to deal with in the first place. Be smart. Choose to suffer smartly.
5. Go to your phone book. Select a random person. Call. Tell them how shitty they are. Empty yourself. Get rid of all your frustration and negativity. Finish the call. Block them. (Tip- any person except your boss; ex boss is fine).
6. Unblock your last ex. Call him and say that you are missing him. Behave like you never broke up. (Tip: create some random shit of some romantic past incident to make it sound authentic).
7. Change your profile photo. Put a sexy one- on Whatsapp and Facebook. That will attract potential candidates. Prepare yourself for the people with whom you are going to exchange numbers in the next 2-3 days. You must appear date-able. And, hot.
8. Learn photoshop.
9. Check stuff online. Sort by cost. Buy the costliest item you see. You need to realise money can buy love.
10. Wear all the dresses that you thought were too sexy for work. Call the IT guy at your desk and ask how to convert a .pdf to word.
11. Call your friends and tell them that they were right when they had warned you that you were dating an a**hole.
12. Go to your bestie and ask him if he has beers in the fridge. If not Stella, Corona is a must.
13. Recall the incidents like- the evening when you went clubbing with a group of friends and were ignoring the weirdo who was checking you out. Try to remember his name and text him that you have been thinking of him. Ask him out.
14. Treat yourself with Indian buffet and make sure you eat double of what you pay. That will definitely put you to sleep if not booze.
15. Don’t delete the number of the person you are breaking up with because you will need that during your next break up.
16. Hook up with the African guy in your language class. Hook ups are meaningless but so is life.
17. Date of break up: Plan diligently. You must not have any interview, exam, periods, a performance or anything similarly upcoming in the next 20 days.
18. Buy 1 kg chocolate. DS Groceries has the cheapest one in HK.
19. Tell Chatty Kathy at work that you broke up.
20. Do everything that your ex hated.
You are welcome.
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