Wednesday, April 11, 2018

God's Reply

And this is the time to write a blog...

During my hostel days, I met this most amazing girl- Jassi. She is beautiful, sweet, cute, humorous, very grounded to earth, pleasant, nice, good person at heart and extremely original. You know people who have good vibes. On my first day in hostel, sitting amongst the snobby girls, she was the only one who spoke to an introvert like me who was silently sitting at the corner eating shit hostel food.

It has been around 10 years. I left the hostel, then India but on on-and-off mode, we were in touch. Rather she kept in touch with all the hostel girls. Even shittier ones (like me).

And it wasn't just me who liked Jassi. Everyone liked Jassi (truly, Jassi jaisi koi nahi). Her Facebook posts will have thousands of likes (I don't even have 20 real friends) and it was clear- she was a dear one.

He childhood photos on FB showed that she was born in a rich family. The family had servants, big house, and expensive cars in the background. While we all girls were busy saving money to make our ends meet in a city like Mumbai, she spent all her salary. She didn't have to save! What a blessing. She lived a life anyone would envy, but actually she was so sweet that none could envy her. That was the most beautiful thing about her.



In 2013 I went to Mumbai and met her. And she told me that she was seeing someone. My first thought was- the guy is too lucky. She got married to him a year later. Trust me, it was true love. I could see that. They looked like made for each other. Then she got an opportunity to work in UK and she told me that it was her husband who encouraged her to join. In my heart, I said, I knew you had got a great partner, you deserved that. 

Nothing can be more perfect than her life. I can bet.

A few months ago I noticed that her Facebook account was deactivated. I tried reaching her on Whatsapp but that wasn't working too. So I reached out to her on LinkedIn and she gave me her new UK number. I got busy and forgot to text her.

Last evening, sitting in the library, I felt depressed about my life, and for some reason, just thought of her as to how some people are living a life of my dreams- professional and personal life balanced with a loving partner.

So I added the number and texted on her new Whatsapp "Hey Jassi, where have you been". She replied, “Pooja, probably you didn't know. I lost my husband in December. 3 days before our 2nd anniversary”.

Sitting in the library, with books on globalization and rising economies on my table, I got tears in my eyes. I was shaken deep inside. She said, “How can God be so cruel. I know shitty people living a lovely life. How can this happen to me, Pooja. I still can’t believe that this has happened to me”.

I definitely know God has plans but I thought shit plans were for me only. She definitely didn't deserve this. 

I am blank. I don't know. 

Don’t know if my question of “why me” is answered in this way. I didn’t want this answer. If this is the answer, I don’t want to ask any questions ever.
I don't know if I should ask any questions. God's level of sarcasm is beyond my understanding. 

Is the answer to "why me" is "everyone else is too"? Please, I don't don't want to hear that. 
This is not my answer.

P.S. OK God, if not me, please reply Jassi. 

5 comments:

  1. All the gods of the Hindu pantheon once went to Mount Kailas to pay their respects to Shiva, the destroyer. Brahma, the creator, came first on his goose, followed by Indra, the rain-god, on his elephant and Agni, the fire-god on his goat. Chandra, the moon-god, came riding his antelope. Vishnu, the guardian of the world, flew in on his eagle, the mighty Garuda. Yama, the god of death, was the last to arrive, delayed as usual by his mount, a buffalo. Garuda noticed that before entering Kailas, Yama’s eyes fell on a tiny sparrow, that had perched itself on a ledge near the gate, chirping a welcome song for all the gods. Yama frowned and crinkled his brow before shrugging his shoulders and joining the gods. Garuda, who was king of all birds, concluded that the days of the sparrow were numbered. Why else would the god of death frown on seeing it? Perhaps the sparrow would die of starvation on the cold icy slopes of Kailas. Garuda looked at the little bird – so young, innocent, eager to see the world. Overwhelmed with parental affection, Garuda took a decision: to keep the little sparrow out of Yama’s heartless reach. Taking the bird in the palm of his hands he flew across seven hills and seven rivers until he reached the forest of Dandaka. There in the hermitage of a sage called Pippalada he found a mango tree. “The sparrow will be safe here,” he said to himself. He built a nest on the mango tree, left the sparrow there and returned to Kailas, pleased with himself. Soon the gathering of the gods drew to a close. The gods began to leave, Brahma on his goose, Indra on his elephant, Agni on his goat, Chandra on his antelope. Vishnu came out along with Yama. At the gate, Yama turned to look at the ledge where he had seen the singing sparrow. Finding it empty, he smiled. Vishnu asked Yama, “Why are you smiling?” Yama answered, “When I was entering Kailas I saw this sparrow here that was destined to die today, eaten by a python that lives in the mango tree that grows in the hermitage of sage Pippalada in the forest of Dandaka, which as you know is far away. I wondered how the sparrow would travel the distance in a day. I was worried of all the repercussions that might follow if the bird does not die at the appointed hour in the appointed place. But somehow things have gone as planned and my account book is balanced. That is why I am smiling.” Vishnu divined what had happened and turned to Garuda. Garuda who had overheard the conversation did not know what to feel.

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  2. For the python, Garuda is the food-giver. For the sparrow, Garuda is the life-taker. But after Yama speaks, Garuda is nothing but an instrument of fate, part of a grand narrative not of his own making.
    It is possible to narrate the story differently, without Yama and his account book. In such a story, Garuda’s spontaneous act of kindness goes horribly wrong because of the unfortunate coincidence of the python’s presence. In this story, the frame of reference is free will.
    It is also possible to add a twist to this story. Garuda prays to Shiva for help and Shiva rescues the sparrow from the jaws of death, restores it to the safety of Kailas, overriding the account books of Yama. In this story, the frame of reference is God, who is greater than the gods.
    Fate. Free will. God. Three frames of references that have sustained cultures for centuries. Three frames of references that can never be proved or disproved. Three frames of references that have to be believed. And when believed can help individuals and communities thrive.
    Greeks sought Truth using reason: an understanding of the world that when argued at any time at any place yielded the same result. This was logos. Logic. Rationality. It gave birth to science and mathematics. It revealed how people are ‘actually’ born and how the sun ‘actually’ rises. It took man to the moon. But it never gave the reason why man exists on earth in the first place.

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  3. Science tell us ‘how’ not ‘why’. Explanations can never ever be solutions. Individuals need solutions. Cultures need solutions. A solution to the conundrum called life. A solution that gives meaning and purpose, tools to cope with crisis, justify ambition and build communities. One has no choice but to withdraw into constructed realities, cling to a frame of reference, any frame of reference with all its inherent limitations. There is no escape from myth.
    We forget that human life is not governed by logic. Emotions that drive humanity – love, hate, fear, greed, ambition – cannot be rationalized. Human beings therefore cannot make sense of life through scientific evidence-based discourses. For the sake of survival and sanity, they need to believe in a frame of reference. They need myth. And myth needs mythology.

    [ from an article by Devdutt Pattanaik]

    The fundamental teaching : fate is omnipotent

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  4. The laws of life and death
    (Extract from a lecture delivered by Swami Vivekananda in Oakland on March 7, 1900)
    Nothing stands isolated — everything is a part of the never-ending procession of cause and effect.
    It is the belief of the Hindu that the soul is neither mind nor body. What is it which remains stable — which can say, "I am I"? Not the body, for it is always changing; and not the mind, which changes more rapidly than the body, which never has the same thoughts for even a few minutes.
    Death overtakes everything which is complex. The soul is a single element, not composed of anything else, and therefore it cannot die. By its very nature the soul must be immortal. Body, mind, and soul turn upon the wheel of law — none can escape. No more can we transcend the law than can the stars, than can the sun — it is all a universe of law. The law of Karma is that every action must be followed sooner or later by an effect.

    In 1895, a disciple of Swami Vivekananda, Mrs. Bull lost her father. Swamiji wrote her a letter. His letter is one of the most profound explanations of the mystery of death :
    Extract-
    Coming and going is all pure delusion. The soul never comes nor goes. Where is the place to which it shall go, when all space is in the soul? When shall be the time for entering and departing, when all time is in the soul?...
    …All souls that ever have been, are, or shall be, are all in the present tense…Because the idea of space does not occur in the soul, therefore all that were ours, are ours, and will be ours, are always with us. We are in them. They are in us….

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  5. Lots and lots of love to you P ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for being there

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