Thursday, September 10, 2015

Life- A Winter's Day


“Our Life is nothing but a Winter's day;
Some only break their Fast, and so away:
Others stay to Dinner, and depart full fed:
The deepest Age but Sups, and goes to Bed:
He's most in debt that lingers out the Day:
Who dies soonest, has less, and less to pay.”
―Francis Quarles

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Mom and Whatsapp

Image result for whatsappSome topic make you think "I must write about this". This is that one.

While I am panting in my pants in the meeting room to meet the chairman, I get a call on whatsapp.

Me: Hi Mom, anything urgent?
Mom- "Yeah. I wanted to know how to forward jokes on Whatsapp"

Here, I wish to share "Mom's Whatsapp Logics"-



1. Social Pressure: 
● Mommy, it is 5:00 am your time. How come you are online so early.
● If I reply messages later, people will think that I got up late today.

2. Whatsapp bitching: 

● Mommy, how is Rita Aunty these days?
● Huh! that woman has changed now. Earlier she used to forward jokes on my number separately now she simply sends them on our new Kitty-Ladies whatsapp group.

3. Good Morning messages: 
● Mommy, you don't need to send me 15 different cup-plate/blooming flowers good morning messages every morning. 
● Huh! I am not selfish to share them only with others while my daughter doesn't get any.

4. Opinions: 
● Mommy, shall I buy this bed-sheet.. is it worth 500$?
● Yes, Nikki, Sheela and 22 others like it.

5. Selfies:
● Mommy, sent you pics. Which skirt suits me best- green, blue or red
● You look good in all. I have uploaded them all on Facebook

6. Profile picture:

● Mommy, no one puts 'good morning message' as his/her Whatsapp profile picture. 
● Huh! I do 
● @$&*)&$@@$%

And the list continues.....
                                                                                                               

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Hazards of the Profession




There seems a glamour attached with every profession.
Like, if you are a defense personnel​, people look up to you with awe. Or, if you are​ Politician​ (in India​) (or even belong to one remotely) the probability of people presuming ​'stuff' about you increases manifold.

 “I am a lawyer”. Each time I say this, I receive an open-mouthed expression invariably. They don’t seem to believe. Some show concern-“But…You don’t look like one”.

 The next curious questions are shot -

“Do you fight for criminals or against them?”

“Do you have a selfie with a murdered body?”

“How do you manage to wear the bat-man cape all day long, does it not get struck in the wheels when you drive”.

It is believed that being a lawyer is a fun-filled movie script job where, in a courtroom, random people from far flung areas come to witness the proceedings where lawyers plead, judges question, witnesses dodge while continuous jokes are cracked, or red-eyed criminals with thirty inches shoulders are about to go scot-free to balance the crime in the city.

They imagine a normal day for a lawyer is when you attend court hearings, thump the tables and with a high pitch in the last dialogue win the case, with court-room filled up with chorus of people cheering you.

Image result for pencil skirt women at work with champagneAnd then you return to your office where (lusting) women in pencil-skirts are waiting to celebrate your victory with champagne and your boss tells how awesome you are (And yes, this gets repeated everyday).

Then I turn them off by sharing that my life is not happening at all because I am an irksome corporate lawyer. Our bosses yell at us and our colleagues bitch (but yes I stay between criminals :) )

And our courtrooms are extremely boring and sleepy places where law sections running into several pages are read and re-read. Of course, you are free to sit at any proceedings while you have given your car for washing.

Last reaction that actually shuts me off- “You are a lawyer… How do you get time to write blogs?”  

P.S: And, certainly, lawyers’ lives are absolutely not like Harvey Spector’s. 

Monday, September 7, 2015

Why I hate Beauty Pageants



Do you watch beauty pageants- contesting for Miss/Mrs Universe/World/Whatever (actually I never do. Someone posted that on Facebook and I followed the link).

India has been recipient of many such awards. Whilst it is claimed that these kinds of competitions don’t judge the beauty alone but their brains (yeah yeah!). No wonder most of such brainy winners end up into film industry and post stardom, into philanthropically inspired convenient activities to keep their social media profile active.

If you watch the contestants closely you’ll see that not one but many contestants seem to have their body parts surgically operated. (You know what I am hinting towards majorly).

Girls, certainly, we don’t expect you to be what you are not. But at least you can remain what you are?
Because THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE COMPETING FOR!

HK government recently fined a professional with close to 50k grand for calling herself to be a member of a professional organization whereas she was enrolled as a student-member. This simply emphasizes that unless you have earned it, it doesn’t belong to you.

In my opinion, such fake booty  body parties parts befail the sole purpose of such beauty pageant. Rather I am refraining myself from suggesting that they shouldn’t even be allowed to put on make-up (but considering that probably none would be interested to watch the show then, keeping  aside the fact as to how many it would deter to participate)

Such contestants who have gone under the scissors should be disqualified. Or, alternatively their cosmeticians should be rewarded for their work. 

P.S. When governments are banning use of plastics- why are cosmetologists not getting arrested!