Your Train

"When you have more mats to fold than luggage to pack"

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How do u feel when:

You are a platform waiting for your train. With a bag-pack and a suitcase.

You are told that your train has been delayed due to some technical reasons. You feel disappointed but then you realize that your iPod has full battery, so does your phone; you have enough snacks to munch upon. You go back to the waiting room, plug in your headphones, give a 'wtf' look at the people already occupying the most comfortable seats. You locate a corner near the window from where you can listen to all the announcements. Because you are not here to spend a night like them. 

3 hours are over. You have scooped the best cherries from the box and surfed the best apps on the phone. There is still no announcement for your train. You put your phone on battery saving mode.

It is 10 hours, and no sign yet. You feel impatient. May be you missed the announcement while you were on phone. You run to check. No, no announcement. It is indefinitely late. You go back to the waiting room.

Seems like you'll have to spend the night here. You unpack your jacket to wrap your freezing legs. Tired of waiting, you fall asleep.

You get up by the noise of people flushing the toilets. You check your phone. You should have reached by now had the train been on time. You feel sad and irritated. You proceed to inquiry counter only to be told that you might have to wait but train will certainly arrive today.

The whole day passes. The train didn’t arrive. You don't want to stay another night but that is the only option. You wear your grey track-pants to spend a warmer night.

You watch all other trains being on time, people boarding and alighting. You feel lost in the hustle and bustle of the station, crackling of the suitcase wheels and humanly chatter. You have utilized all your roaming data by now. You get cut off with the virtual world. At night, you realize that your bagpack can be a good pillow. You spend a restless night.

It’s a sunny day next morning. “Today is a new day” you mumble forgetting the pensive night. You aggressively follow up with the station master who assures that there is no chance for it to be amiss today.
All trains get cancelled due to bad weather. You cry your heart out at night, hiding your tears from the strangers.

Nothing changes the next morning. It rained the whole day. Your socks absorbed all the moisture. You are not ashamed of crying anymore.

Wait a minute! How about checking out bus routes or catching any available train. Why didn’t it strike you before. Yes! You’d check that out tomorrow. It was you who had been making life complicated.

You never had been that energetic before. You find out all the schedules for the buses. All other routes pass through a different territory that need a visa to enter. All other trains are pre- booked. Shit Shit Shit!

You get drunk and don’t remember where you spent the night.

Every night you lose hope, every morning you intake an extra dose of adrenaline. Run aimlessly and sleep, dreaming of your train. 

Now you are becoming used to it. It is more than a month now. At the same station from where you were to start your journey. You watch people coming and going but for you, nothing changes. Except that you have some friends around who tell you that it is just a matter of time.

It is summers now. You miss home. You cry again. It would be summer vacations had you reached your destination.

​You lose count as to for how many months you had been waiting for the train.

So many years now actually that you even forget that you came here to catch a train; that you actually had plans about your life. 

The journey you planned, never started. 

You accept that wait is a journey too. An endless and fruitless one though. You have hated it so much that you cant love it anymore. You wrap your philosophies in a sticky wrapper and dash it to the bin. 

Now you have become so used to 'wait' that you have stopped 'waiting'.

One morning while crossing the foot over bridge in your chappals and unwashed pyjama, you see a train -with its engine making a noise, its metallic surface shining bright in the sunrays. You laugh at yourself as you now look at the trains and not look for them.

Wait! That number looks like a familiar one. It spells your destination too. 
Is it.... Is it.... The Train? Holy shit!.. Your Train?
You run to have a closer look... you stumble from the stairs.

​You are blank. Why there is so much mist on this bright day light. Why everything is going in slow motion. ​You cant fathom- what is what, where is where and who is who. Are you, you. Yes, you are you. Ok, breathe, breathe, breathe. 

Where was the train in all these years?  Is it really there now. What for. What was the journey about. How long.
Everyone around is congratulating. Everyone is saying- finally, you got it! 

You have more of mats to fold than luggages to pack now.
While you are rummaging through your bag to find tickets, you look outside- Your train is whistling. It is 'waiting for you'.
Time to board now...  

P.S. So, now you know how I feel.