I am so boring

Long weekends are like marriages. You are so excited about them, await and mark calenders but when you have them, you realise that they are in your lives for no good.  
The long Easter weekend was so boring, so boring that I can't believe that it is over.

Lately I have been meeting interesting people around me. Such interesting people that they make me realize how boring I am.

Each time I go and meet a group of 'cool' people, and while they are busy 'enjoying' their lives, they offer me cigarettes which, when I refuse saying "Sorry, I don't smoke", the reaction instead of "Oh Ok/ good" is "Why".

At a party or a luncheon whenever I am found whispering in the ears of the waiter to check if there is any option in vegetarian food other than salads, I am labelled as "Lacking food sense'.

At a bar or club, when I tip toe while sitting amongst the 'cool' group people and pick a cranberry juice, I am declared an outlaw. 

The other day this 'interesting' person who keeps traveling to HK to have some 'fun' while her spouse is away and believes in enjoying life, rolled on the floor laughing to hear that I believed in monotonously monogamous.

I realized how boring I am. Rather, how boring I always have been. And interestingly, even after being aware of this fact, always going to be.
I calculated that there is a criteria that decides your level of enjoyment in life. Which is, only if they qualify one or more tests- 
1. Pumping nicotine in your blood
2. Making your tummy a graveyard of animals 
3. Taking a revenge from your body's nervous system by injecting alcohol in it 
4. Infidelity

If your way of enjoyment doesn't include any of the above, welcome to the board! 
Bored Board, I mean!